I once had a lawyer named Jack Frost.

I know of a playwrite named William Shakespeare. He lives in Siskiyou County in N. Cal. Google it. I'm sure it must be there.

People think my wife, Mrs. Butterworth, must be sweet. When people say, "I bet I'm not the first person to ask if you're married to Mrs. Butterworth," I sometimes say, "Actually you are the very first person to ever ask me that. I've never heard it before in my entire life."

Or I say, "You cannot imagine how wealthy I am. I'm just here because I enjoy slumming."