7 Mar 2006
Esmerelda Weatherwax
Does the UN need a call centre? Bombay, sorry Mumbai, is good I hear.
The trouble I have with Indian call centres is not the standard of English. That is generally higher than the English spoken by immigrants who live here, although the call centre staff are unfamiliar with our institutions and idiom. They are also unfailingly polite even if they cannot help me and have no idea what I am talking about. It's the faint line, the delay before I get their reply, and the feeling of distance.
Like Bombay is not in India but on a planetiod somewhere south of Jupiter.
Imagine this.
*Good day Sir, I am Mabel, how can I help you.
* Hello, Hello, it's the Bishop of Gondwanaland here. Half my country is flooded, the other half is suffering from drought. Our government is corrupt and my people are in Dire Straits. We need your help.
* Dire Straits, are they not a rock band? I do not understand you. Are you seeking a music, culture and appreciation grant? In that case you need Music, Culture and Development NGO. Please ring 00 55 11 22 33 44 during office hours....
* No, no, we have an Internation Crisis here. A Famine of Biblical proportions.
* Ah I see you have a faith issue, you need our Faith and Community NGO, please phone 00 55 44 33 22 during office hours. Have a nice day.. thank you Sir, glad to be of service.*
I jest, but this is serious. Lives are at stake.