Red Square Reports at the People's Cube:

On August 28, 2010 we joined other progressive reporters who infiltrated Glenn Beck's rally in Washington in order to observe, take compromising pictures, and manufacture a plausible Current Truth, so that our sophisticated readers would know what to think.

Like many media organs, we had reserved a template page for the most ridiculous protest signs. All we needed was to photograph those signs and fill in the blanks to match our pre-approved hilarious captions. But the untrustworthy Beck preempted our planning by forbidding all signs. It forced us to revise our talking points. The new and improved Current Truth states: the lack of hand-written signs means that the rally lacked a discernible message. It can also mean that none of Beck's followers can read or write, and that these illiterate home-schoolers have never mastered the essential skills of holding a crayon or finger-painting.

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In contrast, the signs and chants of public-school-educated counter-protesters contained deep, mutually exclusive messages, cleverly calculated to confuse their opponents and create enough cognitive dissonance to send them running away in panic, scratching their heads to the bone and rolling their eyes out of their skulls.

The most common method was to place Martin Luther King's face next to some far-fetched random statement about things he never knew existed - allegedly in order to prevent Dr. King's legacy from being hijacked or trivialized. Other tricks included waving "peace" signs and symbols while chanting "no justice, no peace," or carrying pre-printed, patriotic-looking "one nation" placards and Black separatist insignia simultaneously.

Organized by Rev. Al Sharpton, labor unions, and the A.N.S.W.E.R. coalition, they were a shining example of what a real grass-roots spontaneous mass protest looks like. One might even call it a very, very shining example - in part, due to the abundance of glossy mass-produced placards, cameras and other electronic devices, as well as sparkly chains and other jewelry carried by the oppressed, protesting masses.

Considering that Al Sharpton's counter-rally was in every way superior to Glenn Beck's meager showing of illiterates, this is what this report will be focused on.

Let's start in chronological order with the anti-progressive rally, whose attendants began to arrive as early as sunrise in order to reserve seats - a silly thing to do since, as you can see in this picture, only several dozen of them showed up.

many more pictures here